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Cut Me at the Cord, then Cite Your Sources


How long has he been on his bike? Has he been that distracted? Just running on autopilot the entire time. Reckless and stupid. The voice in his head morphs into a familiar icy tone–2

The idea that he might still be alive somewhere…3

I couldn’t tell I was dreaming.4

“Even still, you... you sacrificed yourself to save me. I wouldn't be standing here now if it wasn't for you.”5

Deep down inside, I was scared of change. I didn't want to lose you. Like that time. Like that blue bird.6

The paths you dreamt about as a child: the smiley son and giggly daughter; the inescapable feeling of home; the unconditional love…

It was still there, though, still on the same street…7

Still family.

You say, "I'm home!" and you get a, "Welcome home!" back. Doing those "ordinary" things automatically, without even thinking about it, is what a family is.8

"You’re home."

"I waited and waited. For the day you'd come and take me home. But you never came."9

You’re a ghost.10

He was the ghost that would haunt you, now? He was the ‘what if’. The ‘maybe’. The ‘I love you’ you could have said, or the ‘I care’ you should have told him.

…And I love you.

"Nobody else will do. It has to be you."11

It is hard to fix what has been broken. The arrow of time only moves in one direction.12

No matter how foolish or incomprehensible, some love cannot be discarded.13

Love was bombs and tears and blood.14

…I will love you forever, whatever happens. Until I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I'll drift about forever, all my atoms, until I find you again.15

Maybe, what if… your own path ended by your own hand? Today? Tomorrow? A week from now? Eventually? Everything ends. You could decide when.

I am sorry. I am grateful.16

I want to live…17

Serves you right, doesn’t it?

        1. Take Me Back.

        2. My Reflection.

        3. The Return of the Great Departed Soul, 23rd October.

        4. Zhuangzi and His Butterfly Dream.

        5. Pay Respects to Everyone’s Graves.

        6. The Despair of Two.

        7. It’s Warm In Here, so Come Back In.

        8. Day 5: Tuesday. -seisAI-.

        9. Turnabout Revolution, 16th May.

        10. Stolen Ghost Waltz.

        11. Kunihiko Ikuhara.

        12. Day 2: Monday, Pass Mildly Away.

        13. From Now On.

        14. Daisy Jones & The Six.

        15. The Amber Spyglass.

        16. Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude.

        17. I Go Back to May 1937.