I said I would stop eating sugar
Because I knew if not
My stomach and intestines would
Start to riot and rot
And the booze I drink each day I down
I keep on lying to myself
She says “you’re an alcoholic”
I say “I don’t need your help”
And the hearts of little boys I ate
Carved straight out of their chests
Were sweet as chemical additives
That are put in chicken breasts
And the daughter that I raised
With no help from her old man
Said “I fucking hate you daddy”
I say “that wasn’t my plan”
Every time I wake up is another different year
And every time I go to bed I drink another beer
But this stuff it doesn’t cure me
I don’t know what this hurting’s for
If it’s all for nothing I don’t care
Nothing matters anymore
I met an older guy with a coin for his eyepatch
He asked if I wanted to see it and of course I said yes
And the sight was so disgusting that I had wash it down
With whiskey and salt and needles in my snout
And the son that I raised
With no help from the world
Said “I wish you were taller daddy”
I say “I wish you were a girl”
I met this teen who was a reflection of myself
A big green jacket and orange hair to her belt
The voices that we heard were one in the same
Where mine came from my mouth, hers came from her brain
And her brand new friends all cheered when she came out of Dodge
But I had nobody there while I was fighting the odds
I gambled away it all just for a stupid pair of shoes
That I can’t even wear because I can’t shoot the blues
And when I died there was not a single siren
Nobody came to see me and nobody wept in silence
But then my cat got stuck up in our cedar tree
And the firemen and police trucks came beaming down the street
And I watched my body rot from six feet over
Because I chanted at 13 that I would never get older
And all those bad, bad things still came back to haunt me
Dancing on my grave because they knew I could not be
I said I would stop drinking pop
I said it’s just too sweet
I said I would stop gambling
I said I would stop eating meat
I said I would stop eating hearts
I said I’d not pull you apart
I said I’d stop hurting myself
I said I’d take you off the shelf
I said I wanted lemon-lime
I said my murder was a crime
I said my husband hated me
I said my wife would cheat on me
I said I wanted to go home
I do not want to be alone
I said I want to cut my hair
I said my children just don’t care
I told you that I don’t belong
And that is why I wrote this song
This mind is just my prison and
These bars keep me insane