I remember looking straight at him,
But it was like he was through a thousand shards of glass.
Breath caught in my throat,
Blades caught between my ribs.
I asked him:
"Why? Why do you let me suffer?"
Is it because I'm different?
Because I'm human? Or not?
Our suffering is exactly the same.
I wish you could look into my eyes,
And understand that I lost a brother, too.
Why won't you see me?
Why won't you hear me out?
I wish you could connect with me.
I don't want to be alone.
I don't want you to be alone.
I don't want people to suffer. I'm selfish, I know.
The threat of your violence makes me shiver
and shake,
It makes me cry.
But for just a moment, it also soothes me,
To know your touch is coming down like a comet,
Whether you caress me or strike me, I guess I won't care.
(Why don't you love me?
Is it because I don't love myself?)
God, please, I wail to the world.
Please either let my wrist go or dig deeper.
I want your flesh to be knit to mine,
Or I want you to damn me to endless darkness.
Do something. I just cannot take
This merciless in-between,
This estuary of hopelessness and hope,
Of dreaming and waking,
This meteorite to perdition.
Help me understand why things are this way.
Show me the reason why.
And then, I want you to lay me to rest,
Make it silent, make it violent.
Make sure my blood catches in your mouth,
Make sure it takes seven years to rid yourself of me.