What a miserable existence, right?
He exists as a scrap of a memory in my mind. He's someone to many people I know, but teeters on the edge of nothing for me, just like all of his other friends attending Gekkoukan. But at the same time, he teeters on the edge of remembrance, a memory from long ago. From the days of a black thumb-drive MP3 player, filled with classic rock music. ...I remember everything.
Hidden beneath the beanie and the knee-length blazer, a scowling expression, a half-hearted rivalry with a fellow man, a sense of older brotherhood to a young boy who's mixed up in all this with him, somehow.
All I know about him is that he dies.
This is the core of his story, and everyone's place within this story. Someone has to die, someone has to be the first to leave. (And eventually, you, more precisely, Yuki, will have to die too. To love death, to send countless gifts to him in life, will have you following him to the grave.)
But never once is it said how he dies. No one can ever stand up and say, this is how it happens. Is it just that gruesome that it cannot be repeated? Or for all of us, in the collective unconscious memory of humanity, is that death of that student, the one that didn't talk much and just scraped by on mediocre grades, is it too much of a wound to bear?
I wouldn't blame you, or anyone else, if that was your answer. I guess I was just curious. What led him to that hospital bed? Was it terminal? Was it a gun, or was it a blade? Or was it something else entirely? Did he inflict it on himself? Did he want to at some point? And then, did he decide he had something to live for? Something to live for in a silver-haired boxing glove-wearing adversary? Something to live for in a spear-spinning little brother? Or just inside that little dorm? Finding the heart of evil with this new family by his side?
Did you know that Castor was the elder twin brother of Polydeuces, both of them being members of the Argonauts? Jason and the Argonauts. An undeniable connection to you, thousands of miles and over a dozen years away. Castor had a mortal father, while Polydeuces was the son of Zeus. When Castor died, Polydeuces asked his immortality to be shared with him. Together, they became the Gemini constellation, the twins. The connection of those stars look like two people holding hands.
I heard that in your most recent inclination, on your death, your "twin" was holding your hand as you took your last breath in that jade-toned darkness.
Like you, I was raised in the institution of a better dream. Like you, I was born, I lived, I died; but perhaps not as tragic as you, never living out these years that I hold so dearly now.
Hand on my heart, you wonderful axe-wielding angel. Hand on my stupid, unknowing heart.
Death's a part of life, but this is another selfish dream of mine, to shelter you and the others from death. I heard this song on the wind and I thought of you as I dressed in all black to go to your funeral.
To bloom, you need energy, safety, and love. Once you are a butterfly, you will learn to fly. Seeds become flowers, caterpillars become butterflies; what will you be?